he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
