Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize