"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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