I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
