Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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