In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
