Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
