Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
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something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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