if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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