i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
