Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
