I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize