i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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