I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she woke up with a sticky ear
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
