Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Can I color on your dick again?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
there is glitter all over my balls
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
