The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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