we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
