Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
