how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
