oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
