Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
