Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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