Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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