Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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