i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
