you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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