Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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