Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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