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im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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