I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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