She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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