You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
