i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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