i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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