They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
