I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
