I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
