kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
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The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
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Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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