I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
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