ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
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Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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