he shaved USA in his pubs
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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