He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
