Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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