He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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