Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
