You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
