I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
