can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Lo siento on account of my penis...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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