I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
