operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
