You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
