We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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