Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
