Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize