My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i out mim tonsoeep
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