It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You can't special order awesome
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
