he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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